Sharp Pain 39 Weeks Preg

Purposes for 2010 Growing up

(photo by Oscar-torn age)

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. There. The time has come to break the hymen which was the first number one as my age, catch me in the neck and plunge head on the cold toilet that is the score.

And now everything around me is a passive, vague and tolerable uncertainty. Uncertainty about whether I'm still a teenager or jovial, and inevitably, a nobody in the capitalist jungle. What makes me realize one of the few things that define a mental age are the priorities that one must be true. Be able to sleep at a friend's house for eight years is as important as your girlfriend comes to sleep with yours to sixteen as to have a place to sleep for thirty (Children eight years that follow my blog: I do not no never, be more overvalued).

Shame to accept that, but make fun of girls to boys dedicate their fotologs more passengers than the flu, making it perhaps would hope that I dedicate to you. The desire to keep discovering new places and drinking beverages that they blend with the apathy of study, work and stay home because your teenage has passed. Fear to see that you've gone from being the kid who most wanted to hit at concerts the guy who folds his arms in the front row in the overwhelming shitting children moving. The stupid security that you've tried everything good in this life, and now you have only scattered responsibilities passing amusement.

But twentysomethings, let us not fool ourselves. I remember when I was fifteen I also thought I had seen everything, and it happened again at sixteen, seventeen and eighteen. Y (in retrospect, always in retrospect) that it was looking asshole. In these four or five years I have discovered the kebabs, ryanair , anal sex, the dark tower and other great hits that I make sure that in the next discover more things that I will consider how young and inexperienced was twenty. May not be as fun. Maybe it's the mortgages, job insecurity or treatment addiction to solvents. But with the best companies I have come to be, we will face these and many other vicissitudes as usual: cagándonos on neoliberalism, depending on the meter and laughing at those people who are worse off than we . I promise me fable fer-ho, each pin, each llit.

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Ah, seriously. I still remember when there was! Your scene sucks I

As many of you know, this summer I worked at the Campus Party, particularly in a post that required a big quickly decisive, several languages \u200b\u200band people skills: monitoring a Scalextric. One week, 6 hours a day in which I accompanied with Iker Jiménez EVP incredible monologues about killing and pseudoscience galore.

Well, those hot days in June / July (and I do not remember) we were promised the already very poor financial compensation of 150 euros (one for each pokemon not including mew, you may have to see.) We paid for it after the event. We paid for it in August. In fact, a month later we sent a Conciliator emilio:

And obviously, if today, November 30 (23:34 GMT +1) would have received as my 50 kebabs juancarlista currency to spend on pinball and calippos (And knebep, what fool) would not be writing this right now for the fucking crap that hatched. Because we not only have paid but have not even deigned to give us an explanation. For there are comments that are waiting for a grant to pay us. My balls. "An event like the Campus Party dominated by the good faith?

Well, maybe. Maybe if I carefully worked half way decent, I had not had any for several of those directions and I have said all along that he would not charge more than the entry and make it look like caviar catering to hot dogs a gypsy den fair then equal to what had taken me philosophically. But no.

So here we are. Hundreds of people waiting to collect not only 150 euros. Some people have more than 900. Mostly young urchins that once relied on a certain class of events can not be led by chief as incompetent.

and pending legal action, if I paid, I think next year sign up as a dynamic and not go a single day currar. Have the guts to say something at E3 Futura. a hug and a little harder to those who have had this crap.

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from now, we import content to not forget this blog exists.

when children are tired of being just "emos" have to migrate things more chaotic. and here is where the kid Brootal. almost as parasites move from one scene to another, sucking all the originality of a genre before moving to the next.

not be sophisticated enough to understand technical metal, and too sissy to join deathmetaleros, comes around with the other kids Brootal. as a group, they have no idea where they go. listen to music because the club does not appreciate or understand, but because it is almost unlistenable.

spends the day making for groups grindcore logos in his notebook, as it aims to design Merchandising group someday. to show the world his poetic side, is renamed himself using alliteration: dave deathkill or stevey suicide, for example.

almost absurd to hear music, a kid Brootal is difficult to distinguish from other due to the swarm of white belts and hair out of control. Via

www.yourscenesucks.com

Popcorn And Gastritis

Valencia All Stars

Sometimes in my blog I talk about people who do not know, normal people, with a status means (sometimes even higher) and of course, will never achieve what Unamuno baptized life as fame. However, the city that most of my readers will live or kick often swarming a cast of wacky characters, victims of the crisis, Obama and condoms 2euro of Squire. People who, despite not having any money to Steinburg, will be remembered even years after his death. Anonymous, hairy and strange, they are the Valencia All Stars Homeless.

1. The heavy with cap del Carmen. Omnipresent and bearded, a glass of Jesus Christ of empty Coca-Cola is known throughout the world has been more than 5 minutes in Valencia. Approaches you with a glass in hand and repeat a former oath, something like good night hello please look at but would have no one comes out five centimitos please charity. Shake your paper cup and get a few coins. I mean that receives them, because if you give him nothing curse with insults and Zape Zipi own than anything else in plan will jerk! We must see that little shame!, and so on. It's annoying because it asks too much, really is impossible not to cross on a fucking night.

2. The dog albino rastudo Plaza Spain. This is to buenrroller , will have twenties and rather than look for a gigs or at least sell their beers as they do colleagues combed Diverdrak sitting in front of a piece of cardboard that reads We Hunger. have mimicked their peers from across the Mercadona the complement of the Neapolitan Pink small tray, each at a premium in the sector. Your dog is beautiful. But then I see him around holidays, so so poor that it is safe!

3. The woman in front of Burger King's Hall. This woman has charisma, unlike the other two mentioned above, because of his silence and abstraction, may be asking both the City and in the 5th Avenue. It has an incredible stamina to throw a thousand hours of standing in front of Burger King (perhaps is doped to consum energy drink) until someone comes very very good (on one occasion, I went) and buys a menu of three euros.

4. The penitent Moratín street. This has been added by popular demand, God forbid by habérseme forgotten. It's a turkey that is kneeling next to a traffic signal facing what could be the Mecca or the Post Office building, often with a carton of sangria to the side and hands raised in prayer. Pray, pray, my friend, that the rock is going to buy shit popland sure is very supportive.

fuck oscar, you Nazi.

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Homeless Tattoos pakis not no party

many years ago, in some remote island where malnourished children now make mobile vans and shit that make our society so great, a couple of Indians came to the conclusion that members of the body play betting so common at that time ceased to be productive when you had no legs to ride a horse or arms to throw dice, so I would do something equally absurd and with a load of repentance similar: the body would be marked with permanent ink.

Centuries later, sailors tol of the world decided to import this nonsense to Western culture, and so as today we see all these pigments dearly embedded in the skin of people of all ages (between 15 and 20) on the subway, concerts and piccadilly. People who know this is usually split by the drawing style. But I know with certainty that tattoos should be divided as follows:

· Those who see in the subway. carried proudly by Ecuadorians and people who lived through the military as a trip to Talayuelas are small, green after time and the sun has (incredibly) worsened the irregular black line that ran through your arm as recurring motifs like a sword, the name of the company when they turn nineteen in Algeciras / Chihuahua or even the name of your girlfriend of that time. This stick .

· Those who carry Bakal. If you want to get a tattoo and someone says NO, NOBODY IN THE FUTURE CONTRACTS; not listen to them. In the future, the butcher, the plumber, the reformer, the reviewer of the metro, the police and (God forbid) your doctor will significantly arms full of stars hollow and if you saved enough pollen and Farla, even your fucking name in Gothic letters.

· The women wear. Small but not yet worn, they are hidden somewhere in your body will start to teach at the time having the tattoo done (probably before him, had never shown the back). Hadas sitting on the moon, clef, musical scores, lizards ... A world of monochrome bumper eternal!

· The people carrying the stick. Huge, colorful, pretty, and probably as meaningless as the previous one. Robots , sugar skulls, tents, anchors, hourglasses, swallows, virgins and other symbols that are absurd if you know nothing about tattoos fill the bodies of the buck you expect (hope) not repent of what we did when we listened to music violent than in our youth (of course the kid who has Famous F in the pelvis, will).

And all this sarcasm is hypocritical that tomorrow I start the requiem for my father, my armpits will bleed a lot and my wallet more. A hug plastic and ink sweating, fellas.

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There was a day to buy a can of coca-cola to go to School always had to enter the nearest kiosk crowded with children on duty, whose owner had always having a terrible nickname would last generations. Although these kiosks are subsisting on Trolli candy (how many times have we been late to class wanting to select each and every one of our 20 gums), the proliferation of vending machines shit was a blow to the business. Chocolates, condoms (kept cold by the side of a maxibon), soft drinks, rosquilletas ... everything seemed to be purchased from these machines, but with all that no, there was a group that knew how to profit: the Pakistanis.

The customs men in the middle of grating petadas shirts and displayed in the underground lines are quite bizarre and embarrassing: I swear to God if you sit next to one you puts his arm from behind, if you are looking ahead smiling or even throw you kisses in the air. Therefore, I have completed or that all gay pakis have fled fundamentalism and microchips of his beloved republic, or is a new and inviting way to provide beer.

However, what is most curious of these people is that they are the closest thing to aasimovianos robots there, in huge cities like London, play the most important to which human beings can aspire: the McDonald's deal , brooms, newspapers and stores beer. Any job that calls into question human dignity shall be valid for these men, whose genetic code seems to deny the possibility of rebellion or class consciousness.

And yet, they are good people, of the few immigrant groups whose muchachada young pandas does chung, anything welcome. Intelligence is not measured by skin color, intelligence is measured by the mind. In addition, you frrrría beer sold in the square of the Virgin at any time of day and in the wadis even kebabs. Flip. embrace non-racialism. JAJAJA

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Darius

After weeks of anti-inspiration and input of shit, I decided that I will guide my blog to laugh, and more to write what I want. Sorry.

ever have gone out the night with someone who denies the Holocaust, bring a suit and tie and yet never 3 euros for dinner and know that 90% of things coming out of his mouth is a lie? I do.

Darius is like the sandwiches of chopped popeye: knows how to make the interesting. However, when you take three days by eating it, you realize that's just the flavor of the meat last, really behind all this incredible facade alone is a pretentious baloney proud as could be.

is quite clever and funny. But it mopping up the core. Whatever you have to do to achieve a goal (which always ends up being bizarre sex), it shall: Babyshambles hear when you want to fuck a modern, painted eyes when your target has X in front and behind your nick. He has pretended to be bisexual, Welsh, blonde, brown woman "?, Barney stinson, and a long list of things. It's bad when your career stumbles rushed toward AIDS and want you to open the head, but then you end up saying "Well, it would give the final analysis," and forgive him.

However, we can not blame anything, because the end of the antiempático your condition is probably a result of childhood trauma related to his religious school, or just this world of competition where the only thing that makes sense is namely, fuck, be more. Since then, he is well advanced in this game. Furthermore, it seems to culofino. a hug, Darien.

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When you throw yourself waking up one week only at home with the only company of your hangover, lots of dirty underwear on the floor that are attached to the wheels of your computer chair and pockets pants full of shit sites flyers to those who never thought to go (despite what you say to the public relations shaved, dyed, tattooed on duty), you learn to love your mother. Not because I do everything that needs to be done in a dysfunctional home like yours, but only by the fact that you remember from a long list of tasks in which they had never thought such as:

· Exit to buy food. When you wake up at four you get hungry at six, if you're lucky, still wearing the clothes of the previous day. If not and you have balls, you'll end up going with a pair of sandals Ballantines propaganda, a robe or sweatshirt huge (for under breeches wearing panties) and a hair becomes transparent paper consumption / mercadona nearest buy food, in that order of priority:

1. Bread to make sandwiches with whatever you have in the fridge, or tortillas, or at least toast and pour oil and salt.

2. Coca cola, juices, and other things that do not require more preparation to open a cap and swallow.

3. Croissant, potatoes and white branded goods that will kill the hungry while you get the sandwich with the bread in step 1. • Save

things after use. No you're thinking how lucky you are to have hair dryer, iron, towels, condoms (well, by having it you're not so lucky), food, alcoholic drinks, Orange bills, CDs, old vinyl and cool, old photos and melancholy and blablabla until all this and more is lying on the floor in your room, you are treading on what you click and just Yéndote to sleep in another room so as not to have to fix this fucking mess.

• Give food to the animals. Although the canaries are in a room where ever you go in, and only them, loving mother, the impoverishment of bird seed also need some time to time. In addition, the cat will not stop meowing, ambush you when you walk down the aisle barefoot and start biting the foot can be a clear sign that does not fit I think, do not fix squeezing his ass with the heel. As for cleaning, is something that is best avoided if the absence of ma not going to be very long, and if they will be caught confess to God.

· Details less like picking up the phone, put things back in the refrigerator (warm drinking Coke is terrible), put the towels to dry things off before you leave home, have money to buy food and drink, charging mobile phones (hahaha), have clean tissues, having someone tell me I smell bad and I shower and so on.

I'm also cold, and lack of medical adviser taringa resorted to in order to rid sore throat and ended up vomiting. And that they were independent and was thinking about everything, and this year looks like I will have plenty of gigs. However, I will spend the damn money and pulling me tattooing driver's license to go to party and, eventually, a pine stick. compis goodnight.

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Home Alone Live from Long Beach still



Hi all, this is the blog entry more than normal that you will find here, but is that recently I found out that Sublime (my favorite group world for years) will return with new singer (after the original died of an overdose, rest in peace Bradley), and found videos of a surprise concert they did back in February and I flip flip flip.

If you have in mind that I am a person who has fallen to the bootlegs, has half an arm tattooed by them and generally I do a lot of straws thinking of them, I will understand. Until then, if you already had some knowledge flip with the video above and if not, give them a chance with what i got , badfish , doin 'time , etc.

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Hitting bottom with the tip of the toe


is

we can not have just one night without much self-destruction ? E No, we can not. Last week was Rocafort and it was Mandanga, but last night was brutal. For all those who were in Rafelbunyol, certainly more than half find some good reason to hate me. And, although it can not order them chronologically, I made a series of pearls that would not occur or the writer in a blind Fish People of ketamine. These are just some of them:

· Leaving consciously (consciously everything that can be drunk) to one of my best friends in a town where there was 10 people per square meter and where the telephone exchange did not begin to run until 9 am, just because I did not have the patience to wait for another back to pee.

· Find my ex, whom I had not seen in nearly two months, and not even tell hi, ask if he had seen Aunt why I left. Then, to top it off, I think I tried to say something conciliatory but surely stammered and try to embrace it, or something. Applause.

· Pull mouth any woman who exchange more than 2 sentences to me, many friends who ridicule me the next time you see them. This is very serious. But long. Especially considering that every single time I chunguísimamente away.

• And many other things as get involved in a concert of typical English rock covers and be sure I could go to play if asked, to send a message "come here" to someone who has no desire to see my fucking face and with whom I have behaved like a true psychopath, Dario banging on the guitar to the point of almost breaking string, viewed as a spent with a tare colegui F1, think of something to eat on the floor and seemed kebab but in the end was vomiting, milena tell his name appear in this entry, all slump to finish on a balcony while everyone is asleep, and so on.

and the worst is that if I did all that, is because in some ways, my superego was not to stop. decadence lives. Suck that, tyler durden.

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Overcoming a break (and not get fat in the attempt)



Satan, placating and illogical in its task of filling the world of bad things, has spawned a whole string of great misfortunes that make us mourn and jurarnos ourselves that never again fall into them , and then have to shut up the fuck up: the telet , the minors, the flavors Aquarius chung and, above all, the breaks.

And see if it turns the life I have played two breaks in less than a month. The average human being would have already committed suicide (or threatened to do so in a vague attempt to attract attention), but I, I proclaimed responsible for writing a guide for post-adolescent life in this decade of shit, no. So if your friends are not connected to the messenger, Oscar is here to help:

· Feel stupid. worth it or not the penalty is not going to cry again because a bag (the relationships are not the Pokemon movie), so do yourself to understand it's a silly concern. Play Blink 182 , and other grupejos NUFAN will make you realize that the ruptures, far from being a national problem, are a music industry. When you think that songs with lyrics generic and Violins Ontario or tell your situation perfectly, I feel so disgustingly young 'll stop being sad just to give you no pain.

Do not try to talk to her like your friend. It is not. The talks will result in all things healthy and I miss you , not know how much I love you and shit stick at this point, you will not be used for anything other than embajonarte. You'll wish you would have never known not only to make her laugh again and was interested in your world (oops). But yes you should talk to her once a week or so with the sole aim to convince you that no conversation and not worth the trouble. Let

· be. I guess no one who reads this will be so psychotic to do these things, but do not even think everything he does research online, tell him to stay, plantarte at home, send messages, burn the mailbox, or to arrange an appointment in the Journal of Patricia and if she rejects you, kill her. This will never make her think THAT MONKEY AY THAT IS LOOKING FOR ME I WILL GO BACK WITH HIM, but you have no fucking life and that You disgust. It's true.

· If all else fails, hate. Here you only going to take care of, the rest of the world, as much a concern, but what I mean by this topic so horrible is that if you're so fucked that need, do not hesitate even once more: learn to hate their flaws and eventually, their virtues, you realize that he has played against all your expectations, all whores, and so on . A bit of misogyny in time could save you enough lows. As a recommendation literary About Love, women and death .

In summary, colleague has, turn the page. Breaks to try to paint as stupid and easy is the most hypocritical thing I've written here, and I even believe a blog that recommends the kebabs as top of the food pyramid. Miss someone you I've thrown talking for hours, have learned to appreciate the details you've been stupid and engage a little in his life is normal in the world. And it will be healthy in a few months, rather than mourn to remember, smile. a big hug.

Pokemon Deluge Cheat 2010

The TV, plain and simple

Have you noticed how arrogant it is when someone says the phrase "sorry, I'm not watching TV? I do. But although almost all other cases would hate to agree with the damn liberals that as soon as a Patriots will paint their faces when he wins the selection, it must take up the cudgels on their behalf: television today sucks. Gone are the golden 90 where the match was not televised from La Noria Where Are You Heart, but the twins from Sweet Valley against A Girl Rush or Partners Against Journalists. What are today turning on the TV?

Tomorrow • Programs for children. Series trying to teach values \u200b\u200bsuch as minimal Punky Brewster ( just say NO!) Or made us laugh and mourn as COOO house (by the side had dibujero La Banda del Patio, Marsupilami, Doug and many others) have given way to a whole string of abortions creative 3D Power Interdimensional travelers Rangers (Suck that, string theory!) And shit for our children to grow up with the sole desire to be the most voted in votamicuerpo.

Mediatarde · Movies desktop. An entire industry faces battered women and people from former Soviet republics playing immigrants pursue the American dream feed programming on Saturday afternoons and Sundays, filling our naps or family gatherings of abduction, rape or couples escape a newly discovered heavenly places where terrible secrets. Note to self: talk about this in the future.

afternoon · Talk shows. Programs where "people" ordinary (or mediocre purgeable read it as you like) will have the moves with your children or neighbors to get home then to the problem be accentuated (if my mother program leads to some of those do not talk for months). Special mention asshole, transgender , gold singles, ciberparejas , etc. . The presenters are usually powerful, and really gets me that are as daughters of bitches to laugh at people's problems.

Night · The English series. Perhaps the so sad of all, if it were not for the producers strive to imbue castizo folklorism series in any case had not been good. If someone identifies himself with My Adorable Neighbors, Hannah and the Seven, Los Hombres de Paco, and without wishing to sound xenophobic, please, out of my country.

All day · Programmes and sporting heart. While American television exerts its function to make people want to look like their famosillos, here we are taught to hate on what we may become if we're casting some big brother: people who have not known office, characters per se and bizarre many other nemesis of the increasingly scarce half a brain will throw shit at each other. As for sport, multi-billion dollar millionaires to transfers of less fortunate. Ecce homo.

Miscellaneous · Juan Imedio and Paz Padilla. And at this point is when everyone will say: but Oscar, you can not be impartial, hate the Andalusia and people room. And you will have reason, but if someone appreciates these people is that certainly does not deserve to live: where do children programs Andalusian singing and telling jokes Seville, series such terrible My Adorable Neighbors or Ala .. . dina! and what is worse, and Environment Journal. I'm not going to affect, look at the videos.

are still many things to deal with the telebiciom (as appeared written by youtube), but I've taken a thousand hours to write this (and do not know what I have suffered by having to search for videos of peace padilla) and except as desktop of the movies (which is separate to feed), I guess you will try every day with everything else. So please, I ask you to turn away slowly from the idiot box and not know what you did and has no grace bitch, best of Muchachada Nui is on youtube and everything else, Seriesyonkis. a hug.

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Kings are parents

I've fallen, now that I almost reached the time where there is something to which all post adolescent must face when starting a relationship with a new little girl, a factor that will determine in a reasonably high the future of the above relationship, getting to leave us without having sex, see or even talk to our loved ones. This factor (if you have not deducted for yourself is not the rogue or three) are obviously her parents.

His parents left in the background any good quality that you have: do not care to donate money to the Red Cross, you are studying and working at once, or you've spent the Metal Slug without using any continues, they (especially , the father) always see you as the bastard who wants to fuck her daughter, rather than trying to avoid todísima coast: not only are willing to force her to have her door open when you're with it or turn the router to an auspicious hour to show you her tits: they are willing to sacrifice the love of their daughters so that their vaginas remain intact small (sometimes even sacrifice their daughters' vaginas as long as you're not the user). Here are some tips to follow as the time to meet her parents:

Do not talk to them as your friends. They are not. should be interested in their professions. Praise him, but with caution: there is a difference between a son who is not interested in the least by those closest to his girlfriend and a intended lameculos get away with it. Make up problems that only someone can solve their profession, wikipédiate. A little research will help barbarities.

• Try not to see you naked. There is no clear indication that you want to fuck your daughter, that being naked in his bed. Try not to take off all your clothes if their parents are at home and there is no latch on the door of the room (you can always braguetasexo). From what I've experienced, could stick kicked and even threatening you to call home a beating if you do not take certain precautions.

• That you look well dressed. Polos and shorts are helped. Comb your hair in any way decent. The piercings, tattoos and torn sneakers who won the heart of your girlfriend just win more than one arch of his parents, who will be happy to get a nickname like "the fool of the pins," the child vampire, "the fag" and many others if you give them the opportunity, in addition to believing that their little girls put in this terrible world of the thugs (although they have gone three times and you shit.)

· Become part of the family . The elderly and younger siblings are your best allies in this fight suegricida. For grandparents, just pay a little attention, they are not used to it and (unless you have good enough vision to see through the expansion) will catch you soon honey. With children more or less the same thing as likely to have a horrible relationship with his older brothers, have mercy on them when someone treats them badly.

· Let them believe you are straightforward and hardworking guy, however, it is worth. Parents have a strange fondness for her children together with children of his friends, and this is something you have to namely weather, if your girlfriend is not enough to pirarse fox with a future surgeon. Talk about what you have carefully worked, your plans for the future, what would you do with your life.

In short, be perfect yet simple. Try also believe that you are his father as he was at your age. And to my readers without a penis and boobs, do not have to follow any of these tips: how far the mother of your boyfriend think that you are a pilindinguis sidosas. To avoid this, just say "hello" before entering the room to fuck. Of course, if you have a man like me will be inevitable.

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Strange exercise

After a Bajona jampao me that led me to such extremes as teens to write anything, my lovely stroll through town late at night, praying and many other things that degrade the human being, my psychologist Dr. Abuse the advised me to write a list of three things I do not like about me (and three, yes, but that part of me jump: thought of something you appreciate the good-natured and imagináoslo Òscar here), which has not said whether it should write in a notepad or on the door of a basin of FNAC, so here I come:

· I'm vain. But sack. This blog is where I laugh at him funny that I myself is a clear example. So can have me the same wallpaper, and generally believe that I am a human being above average. This confidence gives me good things (in fact, have confidence in oneself is good, or something) but simultaneously makes me want to beat (only sometimes) when I make comments without thinking that would have been better in my anus. I tend to consider myself smarter, more charismatic and more fat than people who walk down the street, which makes from time to time (writing this post from hell) I disappoint myself.

· I'm emotionally repellent. And it includes several features: hang me too People fast I barely know (and who ended up being disappointed in a few weeks and leave me wondering what I did) when I'm with someone I become a robolengua scheduled to lick asses to be so cloying that people lose the expectations on me person, I am a promiscuous love you, I embark on meaningless relationships because I'm addicted to them. In short, I'm the closest thing to Ted Mosby that is on the face of the earth, and I hate it because it makes me vulnerable and totally different to the way I am.

• In general, I'm mediocre. I have no job, not emphasized in the studies, most of my friends are away or doing things better than being with me. Change my mind too easily, which shows a distinct lack of personality. I feel attached to anything in the place, the time in which I am. I sincerely believe that we need a Vietnam. I am prone to depression at times, but always try to keep the good vibes to everyone I know (except those with which I am cruel because it does). A long list.

I just wrote this in a vain attempt to exempt me how horrible I am a human being. However, I think I'm the best person I ever met. Kind regards.

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assertiveness Terrible inventions that should never exist and I hated my childhood

The natural selection theory which I am a fervent supporter, follower and a fan on Facebook, says inter alia that there is a species that have puñadísimo disappeared off the face of the earth due to its irrelevance to adapt to the environment . Similarly, many other have flourished, you hear an Amen for his future. The same applies to the stuff they have often tried to sneak as innovative, practical and modern (that of the XXI century silver was very fashionable in the 90), but even despite our amazing ability to be deceived by frustrated clerks in department stores, ceased to exist and were forgotten among the deepest of shame. These are just some of them:

· The Mini CD with 3 plates. Twelfth Night comes, is still 4 in the morning and your wiener and more masturbation can not stand to lose the time to open presents. Read books that you sent in school 3 years ago (still not bajoca ! , L'Inferno marta and other great titles), you turn in bed and finally reaches the desired time that you go the room, carry off with paper and cardboard for the Sega Saturn did not meet you asked so specifically, but a huge silver plastiquete cube that you can barely get into your room and you can not but hear the records you pay your father (grand strategy to look young parental listening Supertramp). While two of the three dishes will never be filled, plastic tray weaker world broke after a few months.

· The attempts to make the children eat cold cuts. paradigmatic examples already in your head, there are two: Popeye chopped (as this but Popeye), which always gave me a bit of disgust, taking into account that waste is made of meat, different types grouped Pig parts for us to eat the happy face of our favorite character?. About Lunchables, I guess they thought that the success of Lego could promote a snack that ended up being 3 or 4 cookies and a piece of cheese the price of 2 cupcakes Bony.

· The tipp-ex tape. While their counterparts in brush and pen decorated the tables, walls and nails of an entire generation (and unfortunately still do), buy correction tape was a mistake I made again and again. It seemed so modern, practical and clean! Seeing the clear blue plastic bug full gear behind the counter of stationery, we would never imagine having to spend 2 or 3 times for it to work, to cover as many words on a centimeter larger than and many more covering the piggy that had been written on top.

· Toys and many others. are all that are and are not all they are: Karate Fighters, where we moved wildly and without meaning or strategy, some form of a lever with a dragon's head for a given tipitos kicks causing terrible noises, skateboards NO IBAN SIDE AIR and let us indurainescos twins, the film of the Spice Girls, the Fistros (bocabits renamed) and the corresponding chiquitazos, PC Soccer, Camygol (one huge endless polo ball milling), Digimon Tamagotchi, the metal pogs, THE DAMNED CONSOLES who claimed 999999 GAMES BUT WAS ONLY THE TETRIS ...

nostalgia I entered writing this article, is that although many of us learned what was hate these shits, so many inventions extinct deserve to be preserved, especially considering things that win today. Coming a review of the things I miss the nineties. A hug, boys and burly men who finjáis be women on the Internet.

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The poor man's bottle

If almost a month ago talking about how bad eat, today I would like to emphasize something that, contrary to eat, by itself it is evil for our poor liver , why all of us, simpares and disparate beings, when we first started to get out mustache : get us bottles of alcohol as a male Dandy.

However, like most things in this life, there are ways and means: you can drink in moderation, or you can continue reading this entry, which summarize the best ways I know to turn blue with a fraction of the weekly pay that your grandmothers I give you to buy some horchata. Following (or not) a descending order of hardness of the stool that we find in our cups the morning after intake, are:

· beer. Nouns trying to sound like we cross the German head of the titles of Star Wars: Adlerbräu (consumption) or Steinburg (Mercadona) will delight the palates of those who do not know they are cheaper than mineral water. And do not try to take her a place where someone will see you drink, your dignity is also at stake: someone who spends less money on drink one night to give the m endigo del carmen who insults you if you do not Dastmen only deserves to be looked into his face through a telescopic sight. Note that if you live in Alginet and do not feel like drinking hot in the blank space punks will always be willing to sell or Argentines.

· Cubata low-cost. Affordable only if you have friends and you drink in a group, or if you do not have and you're so sad you're going out several days. The naming strategy of these potions infumables copy of the beers: Vodkas knebep or koranov , rum Admiral , gin Sheriton and so on, combined with the shaker selectísima consisting Cola bottle Mercadona of (or in the bowl, stirring with a finger) with the most exotic juices and soft drinks assure us a good pitch and typical competitions to see who makes the busiest mixed drinks ( making, try this ).

· Shots chung. As I write this, the editor tells me to buy a bottle of Captain and brush Tiquela drinks (closing his eyes like south park) is not considered shot. However, skipping all existing censorship, saying that if you are just a few hours of life are so Appreciation (with dreadlocks that you have it) not fear the consequences, you can purchase any chunga and cheap drink consumption or Mercadona and make rounds of games such as I never aided or drive.

· Steal cubatas. The most undignified, dangerous and above all cheap drink. Surround yourself with people who are drinking a sack or whose care is low and takes the best times to get the sail in and out as usual. In some places can also look for the local soil exchangeable for consumption entry, and exchange. If you are in a billet bottle (tarongers) and you are farsighted, arramblaréis whole with bottles before you go home. But doing this pareceréis some junkies to take care. Technical unreliable.

· Sangria. Ave Sangria, conceived without sin. The preferred way to get Oscar pike since 2005 (approx.). Cheap, so tasty that you get drunk without realizing it, and it now comes in bottles ergonomic, if you want to drink while playing sports. The hangover is minimal, is shared and readily available in many grocery and many more. But your gut may be sorry, and some people think that is unpalatable hot (which I think of the beer). Nectar for concert nights (Don simosh) or simple kebab in ministry. With two liters should be sufficient for a young man of 75 kilos would be more than happy (unless 3 euros, if you buy the landowner and not tell you.)

could not close this entry without mentioning something you probably already tried all you will have in your party buffet daily, and was invented by mixing the alcohol Viñarock pm and juice for breakfast: the COCKTAIL MARIPOSCAR , consisting of 1 part vodka (preferably knebep), 2 berry juice and a half of red bull (energy drink is accepted letters blue matrix). Licking the palate.

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Oscar sweeper

release gigs section with perhaps the most disgusting that I had one of these occupations monopolized by older South American African youth and junkies looking for something to picking: small-time street sweeping. In July last year, the Empire Corvan first recruited me while Arthur and I did a tour of all ETTs of Valencia (anecdote: that day was born mariposcar effect as a concept).

An aunt to hottie and that we can qualify but cuks pornochacha is an old saying that said we needed people to work on the Formula 1 circuit, and without thinking twice gave us a post for next day because they needed people. Arthur could not because I did not go on the website of the Social Security (be as ETA has its consequences), but I had to go to a workshop at the port where I would say I had to do, which initially would cleaning assistant. I rode the film would be in a workshop of the formula 1 by the blanket, but the end is that when I got the above place was a warehouse full of street sweeper brooms and carts.

And so began one of the worst days of my life: I was sweeping about cleaning for 10 hours straight for 2 days. A street about 800 meters was covered by me a thousand times, because well we were not allowed to sit. Ah, I forgot to mention my co-workers: a junkie Roma did not speak only, which was missing more than 60 teeth and a Colombian fifties who kept singing and talking about herself in third person. With such stars all traveled a park adjoining the sweeping tour of the balls up and down with my ears Iker Jiménez.

During the break the first day I went to a bar on the corner of Calle Francisco Baldomà where I served a delicious mayonnaise sandwich revolt that left me crushed guts until recently, where a bunch of 4 and you drunk sobaban threw things at the bar owner's daughter at about 12 am, impoverishment.

When two days had ended finish no longer understand the concept of job insecurity, but also of social instability. Of course, I gained as a bastard.

ps: I lost the photos of that time, but I put it perfectly captures

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Where in the world is Oscar Sandiego? Lumpen generation

past couple of weeks I've left the blog alone which new parent leaving their baby in a car in the sun in August. However, blogs do not die of sunstroke as easily as human puppies, so I come to excuse (not to serve as a justification to continue this rate of timely updates) today, Monday 29 June.

In the last two weeks I've been to concerts in Barcelona a couple times (New Found Glory, No Use For A Name), which have been too hard on girls and I went up and sang with Tony Sly. The time I have been in my house I parted from cuks to play Diablo II (romantic game where they exist) and touch the eggs. I've also been on the bike (which I learned to do recently) out there for Alginet and so on. Enjoying veranu, passed the subjects who had and shit. I also had a creative slump for the mini I have not written anything here, but I have several ideas that are sure make you laugh. is simply that when I start writing I do not think it's funny and I'd rather leave it for another time. Ale

gentlemen, moving.

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One of the worst afflictions that can plague us hard during the middle of our life is having to endure one of these bastards (sorry, Mom) under the same roof. While some (least) become good friends, confidants, and the end of the loved ones that educate the vast majority becomes a paradigmatic example of the decline of the world. The big topic of "children growing freak before" becomes flesh and bone in girls of thirteen years they have time doing what you started to do at sixteen (not all, just as wrong and typical of the age of turkey). This includes but not limited to:

· Drink. Everyone knows that one of the foundations of being cool, mature and higher alcohol intake in a dose liver unfriendly to you and which still is missing three or four years to bear, and at least five so you can buy legally (nothing happens, the loser turns 18, I will buy it gladly in exchange for your virginity). The limit is obvious: do not stop drinking until you know you'll regret in the future (this extends to other areas) to have to clean vomit stains and red vodka that shirt you wore yesterday.

· Exit at night. Although this makes me feel old When I started out I simply go to homes of friends to play playing for hours or watch Japanese cartoon movie. Now that's what you tell your parents that you're doing while you go to the firing of your people or your local rock semi-dressed in a top and a denim miniskirt superalamoda (2004 Alginet reached in 2009, are now beginning into fashion and Palestinian), in order that the Ruiz Llopis the future scholars and many other sciences of the plate and painting the brick and cement are set in what they call tits.

· Listening music inevitable following a criterion to select: hear only what your brother can not wait more than break your face, or at least that of which that within a couple of months will say a couple of MONTHS listened ESO JAJA JAJA THAT WERE PAVAS. Gitaneos accepted several , gitaneos various electronic shit mixed with , the last song has become fashionable in ringtones download ads and some others.

· use internet in the most reckless possible: photos of you in panties associated with your name in quite respectable web , messenger conversations with guys in 5 years you've known you in a crappy chat and phrases based on hi bat wapo (L): $ fotologs updates with dates that do not matter to anyone, etc.

· In general, make life miserable your parents, siblings and extended family, doing everything but tell you to do, getting into the bathroom for hours, ruining things that are not yours when possible, and shit now.

I wrote this with no intention of making you laugh, I just want you solidaricéis with me, and understand and will respond to the desire I have to crack his face to my sister after you have made Something with my new laptop I've paid me so had to restore to 3 days, losing several programs, and obviously after having told you 3 times not to use my PC without my PERSMISO. Damn bitch.